Scattered To The Wind

Notes:  I feel kind of lost at the moment, unsure of why I am feeling this way, but wanting to somehow get it out of me and express it, if only to clarify it more for myself.  So, random thoughts put together...

I feel like I waited a life-time

To find a family

Not be an orphan anymore

I found them...

And then lost them...

Now home is no longer home

My face is no longer my face

I had a dream for my son to belong

To share a family

To know what this meant

For him not to know what abandonment felt like

To know what a father was

To watch Godly men so he knew how to become one

To know laughter again...

And believe in his dreams...

Home has changed its clothes

Become something new

Barely resembles what it began as

And once again, we are lost

Have nowhere to belong

Yet... some pieces remain...

Precious jewels

Wiser for their wear

And me... if not wiser, more jaded now somehow

Some drift about like falling autumn leaves

Changing for good

But changing forever

Somehow losing touch with what was

Losing touch with a friendship, a family member

That we had relied on

Is it enough to say that things change?

 Life changes?

It winds around its broken circle

People falling to the way-side like scattered seeds

On a rippling pond?

Such is life

Such is normal

Such is.... loss...

Such a fragile hold you keep on forever

When forever cannot remain

Building hope on what is real

When real doesn't stay the same

It changes identities

Changes faces in the wind

Scatters memories like broken confetti

Set to drift lost in the wind

I cannot believe in forever

For there was never solid ground beneath my feet

Yet they tell me that forever exists...
Forever needs to stop dawdling about