Where Would I Be....?

Me: God, a few years ago, I asked You for change.  You didn't mess around.... Some things have changed so much now that they're scarcely recognizable.

God: "Where would you be without Me?"

Me: And then, there are other things that when I look around me, don't seem to have changed at all.... The same bad habits, same chaos, same weaknesses...

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me: People come and go.  Time around me changes.  Seasons change, but are the same as they've always been before.  The same basic worries sit with me.

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me: I AM out of the place that I wanted to get out of, though not perhaps in the manner I had planned.  My plans don't seem to matter for much. :)

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me: You did get me out of that place.... In some ways, though this new(er) place is stressful, it still feels calmer than before, stuck in one place with no end to the assault.

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me: So much has been lost... friendships, job security, Briton's childhood, years where I could still call myself 'young'.  Pride.  Life as it once was.  Home as it once was.

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me: Much has been gained.  New depths of other relationships... hopefully a little grain of faith, a new hobby, a teenage son. : ) Hope for something different in my 'career'.

God: Where would you be without Me?

Me:  I... don't like to even think about where I'd be without You.... Taking just the past few years, I'd probably still be in the hospital, or gone entirely...  Still just a shadow of mis-directed adoration.... Still naive and immature in how deep human nature goes, even in the most elevated of positions...  Still ignorant to how deep Your mercy goes, how tenderly You care for me and for those I love.  Still ignorant to how every plan of Yours comes through and the pieces connect perfectly in place, even when we can't even see the playing board...

Different place, different relationships, different situations... Same God.  Same sense of belonging to You.  Same awe at Your love, greater than any circumstance, any length of time, any change no matter how drastic.  Still the same Father....

God: Where would you be without Me?