* * *
Chaze stared numbly into the clear pool and wished for a fountain to wash away the emptiness left by the shouting voices still ringing in her ears. Every so often she could still hear them in the distance when their voices rose particularly shrill. Willfully blocking out all thought and feeling, she slowly laid down on her belly and laid her head on her folded arms. Idly, she smelled the warm earth, the sweet grass, felt the sun sinking comfortingly into her skin. She watched the pond move restlessly beside her. Dragonflies danced and skimmed over the murky surface, minnows darted below. It seemed a separate world from hers, removed, and in that she envied the pond denizens hurrying about in their underwater life. No one ever accused a minnow of not doing its chore right or a frog of not leaping correctly. No one ever told the dragonfly it could not fly as well as the next or would never amount to anything. All of those things and more (though in different context)she had heard just this morning let alone over her brief life-time. Unlike the pond creatures however, when she was swatted, she went on living, her heart continued to beat. For them, they were crushed physically and life just ended. For Chaze, she was just as crushed, but not so visibly and life still went on.
Wonderingly, but still with little emotion, Chaze extended a hand and allowed her fingertip to pierce the surface of the water. The water closed around her small digit and she could feel the weighty pull of the liquid against her skin. There was smooth friction, but also a sort of closeness in the waters texture, almost like an embrace.
Then, rather suddenly, she felt what seemed to be a wet kiss against her finger and it startled her so that she snatched back her finger and sat quickly upright. She stared down into the pond and from just beneath a nearby strand of weed, she could make out the nose of a fish. It was just a plain old gray fish, yet it seemed to be staring up at her rather expectantly. Brow furrowing in confusion, Chaze stared back at it and saw her own reflection ghosting across the water's surface like a wispy cloud. A small featured eight year old face with a scattering of freckles on the nose and clear, alabaster skin, waving blond hair flowing down across her shoulders, and blue curious eyes stared back at her and yet seemed to flow around the fish at the same time like a hologram across his watery sky. The fishes mouth moved; not in the comically foolish way that most fish move their mouths, but in a wider, much more expressive manner that looked so like it was talking that Chaze's heart began to pound in excitement. "I can't - I can't hear you." She said to it in her native British accent.
A bubble exited the fish's mouth in what Chaze took as exasperation and it suddenly wriggled its way up to the surface of the water and pushed its nose through the surface. "I said," It said, perfectly proper. "That if you're so displeased with the world you have up there," It pointed one fin up towards her sky. "You would do well to try another."
Chaze's eyes widened at this. "H-How do you mean?"
The fish made an impatient expression. "Honestly, are all humans this dim? I mean down here." His fin pointed down and around him at the pond. "Down here, among the water lilies and the sand, beneath the water. It may not all be simple, but sound is much muted down here. You'll not find creatures foolishly blubbering about at each other and making such a clattering racket as all that." He covered the sides of his head with his fins and grimaced distastefully in the direction of Chaze's home off in the distance across the field.
"But how am I to breathe?" Chaze asked. "I haven't gills and fins like you do."
The fish put a fin to its chin and paused thoughtfully. "I'd...imagine you could breathe down here if you wanted to, just as the rest of us can. After all, the Swan does grant such privileges to outsiders every once in a while."
"The swan?" Chaze asked perplexed her gaze instinctively roaming over the water's surface for the large, white feathered plumage.
"No, no. Not that kind of swan." The fish said gravely. "The Swan is a swan fish. And He's ever so much more personable than those pestilential birds."
Chaze could not help but smile at the disgusted expression on the fish's face. Still, she thought she'd rather have another minute to think before plunging down into the surface of the pond, and so she asked, "Are you a British fish? Only, you talk very like me and I'm from Britain. But this pond and this plantation are in America. A place they call Georgia."
The fish put its fins to its 'hips' and said indignantly. "I'm just as British as you. Don't you remember your mum and dad adding that sack of swill fish from England to this pond when you'd arrived?"
Chaze thought back. Yes, that was right, her father had taken the small bag of fish that she'd kept and dropped them into the pond. She had been keeping them as pets, a little piece of home, but her father had grown angry with her at dinner for spilling her drink that second night and had poured out the fish into the pond water as punishment. "Yes, I suppose I do remember. That was when we first arrived here from England and daddy still walked around the grounds. All he and mum ever do now is fight. Mum doesn't reckon we should have come on this business holiday."
"Yes, I've heard them." The fish said, seeming a trifle more gentle now. "Big humans can be awfully stupid sometimes." Chaze smiled again at his bluntness. "That's why I thought it high time that someone took notice of you and offered you an alternative. Now, do you want to come down here for a bit or not?" He finished, abrupt once more.
Wonderingly, but still with little emotion, Chaze extended a hand and allowed her fingertip to pierce the surface of the water. The water closed around her small digit and she could feel the weighty pull of the liquid against her skin. There was smooth friction, but also a sort of closeness in the waters texture, almost like an embrace.
Then, rather suddenly, she felt what seemed to be a wet kiss against her finger and it startled her so that she snatched back her finger and sat quickly upright. She stared down into the pond and from just beneath a nearby strand of weed, she could make out the nose of a fish. It was just a plain old gray fish, yet it seemed to be staring up at her rather expectantly. Brow furrowing in confusion, Chaze stared back at it and saw her own reflection ghosting across the water's surface like a wispy cloud. A small featured eight year old face with a scattering of freckles on the nose and clear, alabaster skin, waving blond hair flowing down across her shoulders, and blue curious eyes stared back at her and yet seemed to flow around the fish at the same time like a hologram across his watery sky. The fishes mouth moved; not in the comically foolish way that most fish move their mouths, but in a wider, much more expressive manner that looked so like it was talking that Chaze's heart began to pound in excitement. "I can't - I can't hear you." She said to it in her native British accent.
A bubble exited the fish's mouth in what Chaze took as exasperation and it suddenly wriggled its way up to the surface of the water and pushed its nose through the surface. "I said," It said, perfectly proper. "That if you're so displeased with the world you have up there," It pointed one fin up towards her sky. "You would do well to try another."
Chaze's eyes widened at this. "H-How do you mean?"
The fish made an impatient expression. "Honestly, are all humans this dim? I mean down here." His fin pointed down and around him at the pond. "Down here, among the water lilies and the sand, beneath the water. It may not all be simple, but sound is much muted down here. You'll not find creatures foolishly blubbering about at each other and making such a clattering racket as all that." He covered the sides of his head with his fins and grimaced distastefully in the direction of Chaze's home off in the distance across the field.
"But how am I to breathe?" Chaze asked. "I haven't gills and fins like you do."
The fish put a fin to its chin and paused thoughtfully. "I'd...imagine you could breathe down here if you wanted to, just as the rest of us can. After all, the Swan does grant such privileges to outsiders every once in a while."
"The swan?" Chaze asked perplexed her gaze instinctively roaming over the water's surface for the large, white feathered plumage.
"No, no. Not that kind of swan." The fish said gravely. "The Swan is a swan fish. And He's ever so much more personable than those pestilential birds."
Chaze could not help but smile at the disgusted expression on the fish's face. Still, she thought she'd rather have another minute to think before plunging down into the surface of the pond, and so she asked, "Are you a British fish? Only, you talk very like me and I'm from Britain. But this pond and this plantation are in America. A place they call Georgia."
The fish put its fins to its 'hips' and said indignantly. "I'm just as British as you. Don't you remember your mum and dad adding that sack of swill fish from England to this pond when you'd arrived?"
Chaze thought back. Yes, that was right, her father had taken the small bag of fish that she'd kept and dropped them into the pond. She had been keeping them as pets, a little piece of home, but her father had grown angry with her at dinner for spilling her drink that second night and had poured out the fish into the pond water as punishment. "Yes, I suppose I do remember. That was when we first arrived here from England and daddy still walked around the grounds. All he and mum ever do now is fight. Mum doesn't reckon we should have come on this business holiday."
"Yes, I've heard them." The fish said, seeming a trifle more gentle now. "Big humans can be awfully stupid sometimes." Chaze smiled again at his bluntness. "That's why I thought it high time that someone took notice of you and offered you an alternative. Now, do you want to come down here for a bit or not?" He finished, abrupt once more.
* * *
(Much later)
"You didn't want to swim. You wanted to drown." He said it so matter-of-factly that Chaze
had to take pause and think about it for a minute... and after an awkward moment, she
realized that he was, in fact, stating the truth. She *had* wanted to drown rather than
face another day as it had been.
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