Its a darkness that suffocates all light
Drowns you in its enfolding arms
Like a lovers embrace
But with no warmth, only cold indifference
It has the chiseled features and drawing attraction
That promises hope
Companionship
A desperately needed reprieve...
But becomes cold, feral, impersonal once it has you
In its dark clutches
It swallows you whole like a bird with a wounded wing
Taken refuge in the jaws of a crocodile
Feebly flapping in its black maw, held captive by the jagged walls
Of the teeth of injustice, of betrayal, of broken promises
Gradually sinking into this midnight quagmire of all-consuming despair
Failing hope and failing breath
Gradually sinking deeper, soon disappearing
Faltering heart-beat will soon disappear, and at last
Mercifully, be stilled
Raise your arms to the uncaring skeletal trees
As they spectate your demise
Lifting out a hand in a last plea for help...
Given a slim, withered hand for just a moment
Hope blossoming like the first pink blossom of spring in your hand
Then snapping suddenly, brittle, broken, the frail, fleeting blossom withering
Blackening in your hand
Your only reminder
Your only friend
Staring back at you, the lifeless remains of what you had thought was sure
What you thought would last and strengthen your salvation
Crueler than an outright rejection, laughs mockingly now in the night.
* * *
The residual sunlight scalds my skin
With its false promise of joy
My eyes glaze over with gray film
Transforming my world and all that I once knew
Into a landscape in shades of black and gray
A freakish nightmare transformed by blind trust
Shattered into broken trust
To this hazy vision I barely recognize.
Broken and scattered these beloved and tormenting images
My aching lungs are a relief in contrast
To the tearing anguish piercing through my soul.
Will you remember me, little one
That I held you, would have killed for you
Died for you, and gladly
When time rips us forever apart?
Or will you also fall back into the mist
Not taking notice of
Or just not caring enough to reach out
As I sink beneath the rising dark
And all turns black before my eyes
When the frantic scarred heart stills
And finally, mercifully all numbs and is devoid of pain.
Would there even be an imprint left
On the soft clay of this world where I now stand?
Or more likely a quickly fading outline
Of a hand once pressed to a cold counter
Glorious autumn with its rainbow colors
Its warm comfort and sunshine despite the errant chill
Has faded into gray winter
Which lingers in my heart even as the seasons have changed.
This sorrow is now trackless and deep
My spirit lost on a sunless sea
Since you no longer believe in me
On my face, my wind-dried tears and raw skin
The residual sunlight is harsh
With its forgotten promise of joy...
Drowns you in its enfolding arms
Like a lovers embrace
But with no warmth, only cold indifference
It has the chiseled features and drawing attraction
That promises hope
Companionship
A desperately needed reprieve...
But becomes cold, feral, impersonal once it has you
In its dark clutches
It swallows you whole like a bird with a wounded wing
Taken refuge in the jaws of a crocodile
Feebly flapping in its black maw, held captive by the jagged walls
Of the teeth of injustice, of betrayal, of broken promises
Gradually sinking into this midnight quagmire of all-consuming despair
Failing hope and failing breath
Gradually sinking deeper, soon disappearing
Faltering heart-beat will soon disappear, and at last
Mercifully, be stilled
Raise your arms to the uncaring skeletal trees
As they spectate your demise
Lifting out a hand in a last plea for help...
Given a slim, withered hand for just a moment
Hope blossoming like the first pink blossom of spring in your hand
Then snapping suddenly, brittle, broken, the frail, fleeting blossom withering
Blackening in your hand
Your only reminder
Your only friend
Staring back at you, the lifeless remains of what you had thought was sure
What you thought would last and strengthen your salvation
Crueler than an outright rejection, laughs mockingly now in the night.
* * *
The residual sunlight scalds my skin
With its false promise of joy
My eyes glaze over with gray film
Transforming my world and all that I once knew
Into a landscape in shades of black and gray
A freakish nightmare transformed by blind trust
Shattered into broken trust
To this hazy vision I barely recognize.
Broken and scattered these beloved and tormenting images
My aching lungs are a relief in contrast
To the tearing anguish piercing through my soul.
Will you remember me, little one
That I held you, would have killed for you
Died for you, and gladly
When time rips us forever apart?
Or will you also fall back into the mist
Not taking notice of
Or just not caring enough to reach out
As I sink beneath the rising dark
And all turns black before my eyes
When the frantic scarred heart stills
And finally, mercifully all numbs and is devoid of pain.
Would there even be an imprint left
On the soft clay of this world where I now stand?
Or more likely a quickly fading outline
Of a hand once pressed to a cold counter
Glorious autumn with its rainbow colors
Its warm comfort and sunshine despite the errant chill
Has faded into gray winter
Which lingers in my heart even as the seasons have changed.
This sorrow is now trackless and deep
My spirit lost on a sunless sea
Since you no longer believe in me
On my face, my wind-dried tears and raw skin
The residual sunlight is harsh
With its forgotten promise of joy...
(Written: 04-02-2010) - Friday
Note: It's good Friday today...appropriately perhaps, this is also the anniversary of my father's death. This poem is symbolic for me of real-life events that seem to be converging on me all at once... But, I'm not usually this sensitive to them, nor so depressed. Such is life I guess.
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